The Countdown is over.  Today is my lovely wife Megan’s 30th birthday.  I have a much bigger post planned on this topic for tomorrow.  But I wanted to make sure and say happy birthday to her here at The Captain’s Quarters. Happy 30th!

Ciao,

The Captain

Seeing as how I’ve been largely M.I.A. from the Captain’s Quarters over the last month, a lot of little things have managed to slip through the cracks.  Whath’s that you say, sound like a perfect time for another installment of Ach, Ja and Nicht Nicht?!?  I couldn’t agree more!

Ach, Ja and Nicht Nicht – Bruno Comes Home

Mad Men– Ach, Ja

So rare is it for a television show to get better from one season to the next.  After a superb second season, I wasn’t sure that Mad Men could maintain it’s amazing run.  Somehow the show managed to raise the bar yet again with season three.

The season finale last week was one of the best of the entire series.  To simultaneously start a new agency and end Don’s marriage was a stroke of genius.  And there were so many other great parts of the season:  The wedding ruined by the Kennedy assassination, the out-of-left-field Peggy and Duck hook-up, the lawnmower amputation.  What a season!  Is it even possible for this show to get any better at this point?  I CANNOT WAIT for season four!

The Yankees – Nicht Nicht

Damn you Yankees, you greedy bastards!  Wasn’t 26 championships enough for you?  Why did you have to beat my Phillies?!?

I’ve been a Yankee hater for years now and this win just makes it worse.  I just don’t understand why so many people cheer for the Yanks.  It’s like reading the bible and cheering for Goliath.  It’s like cheering for the House in blackjack. 

I’ve gotten over the loss now, but it took me a while.  Philadelphia had too good of a team this year to lose to these overpaid assholes.  Still, the Phillies did manage some good performances.  Cliff Lee and Chase Utley both played out of their minds so it’s hard to fault them. 

Unfortunately, I think a lot of the blame rests on the shoulders of St. Louis’ own Ryan Howard.  His batting average in the series was an atrocious .174 and he struck out a record setting 13 times.  He’s too good of a player for that awful of a performance.

I’m still proud of the Phillies for 2009.  Making it back to the World Series is still one hell of an accomplishment.  But damn, why did it have to be the Yankees?!?  Nicht Nicht!

The Walking Dead – Ach, Ja

Considering my long time love of comics and my newfound love of all things zombie, it’s remarkable that it took me this long to discover this zombie comic book.  Yet somehow I didn’t hear about this wonderful comic until I read that it was being developed into a television series for AMC.

Curious, I picked up the first few issues and I was immediately hooked.  I quickly devoured (pun!) all 60+ issues of the series and I now anxiously await each new issue.¹ 

The plot is typical zombie fair; A group of survivors trying to survive in a post-zombie-apocalypse world.  What makes it so intriguing is the length and scope of the narrative.  There are so many different aspects of the genre to explore, and the story is slowly making its way through all the good ones.  The series has been going strong for six years now, and there appears to be no end in sight. 

There are numerous other parts of this comic to like, from the stark black and white illustrations to the excellent characters and detailed way they have been developed.  Plus, it’s full of zombies!

Up In The Air – Ach, Ja

Check out how amazing this movie looks:

I’m so excited to see this film for so many reasons.  Business travel is a great topic for a film.  As a frequent business traveler in previous jobs, this film really looks to nail the tone of business travel.  And seeing as a good chunk of the film was shot a Lambert Airport right here in St. Louis, it doubly speaks to me. 

With a well timed job loss theme in the middle of this recession, it seems poised to do quite well both critically and commercially.  And considering the Director, Jason Reitman, hit a home run with his last film, Juno, this looks to be a can’t miss.  Damn I hope this film doesn’t disappoint.

Halloween 2009 – Nicht Nicht

I love Halloween, so it killed me to completely miss it this year for our house move.  The 31st was even on a Saturday this year; perfect for late nite boozing in costume!  Dammit!

According to the numerous photos on Facebook, everybody had a good costume² and a great time this year.  Whereas the highlight of my Halloween was the free black jack taco I had for dinner after my 15 hour move.  Halloween 2009, you were the worst!

Black Friday – Ach, Ja

As much as I love Halloween, I feel the exact opposite about Black Friday.  The idea wasting the day after Thanksgiving for an entire day of shopping sounds horrible to me.  It just seems to bring out the worst in everything and everyone.

But this year I really want to buy a big-ass television for our new basement, so I’m going to begrudgingly accept this evil holiday.  Considering the crazy deals that have been advertised thus far, I’d be crazy to buy a television any other day.  Homeownership has already made me embrace the hardware store³, so I guess this is to be expected.

Phrazes For The Young– Ach, Ja

Four years after the Strokes’ last album and the lead singer, Julian, finally releases his solo album.  It’s about damn time! 

Not quite sure why it took four years to release an album only eight songs long, but I’m glad he did.  It’s great!  So now that all of the band’s members have released a solo album⁴ hopefully the band will get back together and start recording again. 

If the Strokes don’t manage to record something in 2010, then I’m officially giving up on them.  I hope it doesn’t come to that, they were one of my favorites!

The St. Louis Lambs – Nicht Nicht

Damn football team.  I was glad that our pathetic home town team managed to pull out a win against the lowly Lions two weeks ago.  It actually had me feeling optimistic while I was watching the Rams-Saints game yesterday.

The Rams were tied at 14 at halftime, and both Bulger and Jackson really looked like they had something going.  They played terrible in the second half, but somehow managed to get within 4 points of the Saints with about a minute left.  For just a second they looked like the Rams of old, marching down the field to pull out a last second victory.  It was exciting; the upset of the month!  And then, of course, they came up short and lost the game.

I’m not really mad that they lost the game; they had already done that seven times this year.  I was mad that the Rams somehow managed to invest me in the game.  I was really pulling for the Rams to win this game, even though it meant nothing.  Well no more Rams, you’re dead to me now.

New Blogs – Ach, Ja

There are so many great new blogs I’ve discovered recently.  It’s so exciting to see so many people I know take up writing!  You should check them out.

My sister’s best friend, Jessica, started a blog here, and her friend Katie started one here.  Both gals moved away from St. Louis this summer, which is always a good reason to start writing.

Even my sister started a blog over here.  It’s great so far, but she really needs to update it with details of her birthday trip to Las Vegas.  Come on Cathie, how could you not write about such a big event?  I wanna hear about how you almost caused the evacuation of Mandalay Bay!!!

But the best new blog I’ve been reading is Ephemara Etc. by The Rocket Queen.  It’s awesome!

I started reading her blog earlier this year when I saw it as the Riverfront Times’ blog of the week.  Shortly thereafter I realized that The Rocket Queen is actually good friends with Secretly Stephie, which was doubly cool⁵. 

Since then her blog has only gotten better.  Back in September The Rocket Queen made the same great decision I did back in two years ago; she abandoned her MySpace blog and set up shop here at Blog-City.  Well done!

And speaking of two years ago…

Missing My Two Year Anniversary Here At The Captain's Quarters - Nicht Nicht

I failed to celebrate my two year anniversary here at The Captain’s Quarters back on November 7th.  Shame on me!  But in doing so I followed the most important rule of blogging:  writing should never get in the way of your real life.  So in that sense, I’m glad I was too busy to mention it. 

It’s been a great second year here at Blog-City.  Yesterday I made it over 50,000 hits, I’ve gotten a ton of great feedback, and most importantly I still look forward to every time I post.  In the near future I hope to have more free time to write, but for now I’m quite glad with what I was able to accomplish.  So ahoy to year three at the Captain’s Quarters.  Hopefully the best is still over the horizion.

Bruno On DVD Tomorrow– ACH, JA!!!

It’s finally here!  Tomorrow I can own my favorite movie of 2009!

I know that Bruno wasn’t technically a great film.  In reality, it’s most just homophobia and dick jokes in a German accent wrapped around the thinnest of plots.  But damn if those jokes are funny, especially with that accent! 

I think Sacha Baron Cohen is a comedy genius.  And while Borat is probably a better character, Bruno is much funnier to me.  Bruno has already earned a place on my Top 5 list for funniest movies all time.  So if you haven’t checked out my favorite 19 year old yet, now is the perfect time to invite Bruno into your home.  Ach, Ja!

Ciao,

The Captain

1  The last time I faithfully read a comic on the Image label was probably back in the Spawn days of the late 90’s.  Nerdtastic!

2  I found it particularly funny that my two buddies who helped me move, Jamie and D, both were sporting moustaches for their costumes.  They both decided to go as Jim Dangle from Reno 911!, which combined with my moving beard made for quite a hairy afternoon.

3 I bought an outdoor propane grill for the deck for 50% off!  End of the season clearance!

4  Everyone but my favorite band member, lead guitarist Nick Valensi.  Why does my favorite band member have to be the lazy one?  Then again, considering how bad the bass player’s album was, maybe I shouldn’t complain.

5  I ran into The Rocket Queen at the 3 Cheers benefit earlier this month and drunkenly told her I was a fan of her writing.  I was trying really hard to not come off as creepy, but that’s almost impossible when telling someone you’ve never met that you like their online writing…

In the middle of my busy weeks of moving I managed to take a nite off for a great cause.  Of course I’m talking about 3 Cheers For The Weirs!  My man D and I had been looking forward to this event for weeks.  D even managed to snag a pick with the host, Secretly Stephie.

And wow was there a lot of support.  Stephie held the event to raise funds to support her parents after her father’s recent operations.  I was mega impressed at the outpouring of support displayed from her friends and family.  A considerable amount of money was collected for her parents, and I was glad I could contribute.

The place was full of cool kids, including a lot of friends from high school.  Ben and Allison and even my sister were in attendance to enjoy a solo set from my favorite local musician, Kevin Buckley.

The rain was a constant problem throughout the move.  With both of us off work for the rest of the week we had plenty of time for the move, but we had to rearrange our plans several times to work around the rain. 

I’ve had several requests for pics of our house now that we’re done.  Before I post them, let me include a caveat.  We¹ still have lots of decorating and rearranging to do, so this is just the initial set-up.  But it still looks pretty damn good to me!

It’s been a bit since my last entry and it is likely to be longer until my next.  I’ve been so busy with amazing things that I’ve scarcely had time for drink or blog.  Try as I might to avoid the typical lazy writer’s vice of making a list for summary purposes, the sheer volume of stuff that I want to mention necessitates such a list.  So here’s a somewhat comprehensive list of what’s been putting the ROCK in my Rocktober.

Moving Preparations – 4^th time’s the charm!  Megs and I been consistently busy all month prepping for our move next week.  We’ve turned our loft into a box storage facility

And have called a gazillion people to arrange everything for next week.  Then of course there are the numerous To Do lists and To Buy lists to create and then fulfill.  I had no idea that home ownership would require the purchase of so many things.  I spent 1½ hours in a Lowes last weekend, and I was hurrying!

We’ve also been reading and filling out mountains of paperwork in preparation for our mortgage, which is equal parts tiring and terrifying.  But at least now we’re on the home stretch.  We did the final house walkthrough this morning with the builder, and it looks fantastic!  We finally have carpet!

All that’s left to do now is finish packing, sign our lives away at the Closing on Tuesday, and spend the rest of the week transporting everything we own across town.  The big furniture move section is a week from today, and there are still a million things left to accomplish.  It may a bit daunting and incredibly exhausting, but the end goal is absolutely worth it.

Being a Productive Worker – My main year-long project at my job was due this past Wednesday nite, and I’ve been busting my hump to finish it on time.  Three straight 11 hours days allowed me to finish in the nick of time, but it took quite a bit out of me.  I came home last nite and completely crashed.  Now I have to wrap up all my other projects that have been neglected.  Everything must be finished by Tuesday; I took the rest of next week off to move.

Last Day Of Public Transportation – Monday will be the last day I will take the Metrolink to work after 10 straight months of not driving.  This of course means that my p.o.s. car is finally drivable!  A local mechanic was able to work wonders on my car, Chachi, so starting in November I will once again be driving to work.

I have mixed feelings about this change to my morning commute which I will most likely cover in a future entry, but I will certainly miss the ease of riding on a train everyday.  If I had more time and less to do, I would celebrate properly by attending the Second Annual Metrolink Prom this evening.  But instead I’ve got a date with some boxes and packing tape.  And speaking of cool local events…

3 Cheers For The Weirs! – My favorite local blogger, Shortcake, is throwing a benefit show for her Father in 12 days and I wanted to help spread the word. 

You can check out all of the details here , but suffice to say this groovey little show is for a really great cause.  This nite looks to be the least pretentious gathering of hipsters that St. Louie has ever seen.  I will most certainly be attending and I would encourage you to do so as well.

Anniversary Thanks – Megan and I had some very heartfelt gifts and congratulations for our second anniversary.  Big-up to my dad for this wonderful fruit arrangement

All my favorites in one eye-catching package!  We appreciate everyone who took the time to help make our anniversary special.  And while I’m on the subject of October weddings…

Congrats to Morgan and Chris – One of my best friends from college, Morgan, got married earlier this month and I couldn’t be happier for her.  She married an extremely decent gentleman¹ named Chris in a lovely little ceremony right down the street from our loft.  And even better was the fact that the reception was at a brewery!

Morgan is like the little sister I’ve never always wanted, and I couldn’t be happier for her.  And she just bought a new house that’s like five minutes from my new house, so I will actually be seeing her lots more in the future.  So cheers to Chris and Morgan!

The Philadelphia Phillies’ Return to the World Series – After watching the Cardinals get decimated by a sub-par team like the Dodgers this year, it was a real treat to watch my second favorite team give the Dodgers a beatdown.  The Phillies have been even better this year than they were in last year’s postseason, and they won it all last year. 

The Phils’ only real weakness this year looked to be their bullpen, which magically righted itself in the postseason.  Now they look unstoppable, which I hope is the case because they will most likely be facing off against the only true evil in all of baseball, the New York Yankees.

Not only is the World Series gearing up to be a epic battle of good vs. evil, it has already spawned an epic ½ hour of comedy.  Last nite’s all Phillies episode of It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia was instantly one of the Top 5 funniest things I’ve seen all year. 

I’ve gone on record declaring my love for the Philly Phanatic, and I was overjoyed to see him fight Greenman on the show last nite.²

So in summation, LET’S GO PHILLIES!!! clap clap clap-clap-clap LET’S GO PHILLIES!!! clap clap clap-clap-clap LET’S GO PHILLIES!!!

Cathie is 30! – Finally, I want to wish my sister Cathie a happy 30th.  Today is her birthday and she deserves to live it up.  As it so happens, she just landed at noon in Las Vegas for a three day celebration.

She’s been saying for about a month now that she’s gonna try and find a guy during her first 12 hours in Vegas and marry him before midnite.  I’m pretty sure she’s joking, but then again who knows with her.

Cathie was my best friend growing-up, and to this day she still probably knows me better than anyone else on the planet.  Even though she’s prone to long periods of irrationality and off-key singing, I still think she’s the best sister I could ever want.  And she’s hella talented to boot; here’s her playing in my favorite local band, Paper Dolls .

I’m bummed that I wasn’t able to travel to Vegas for her birthday celebration, but this new house thing rightly trumps everything.³  Luckily, I was able to have a little mini-celebration for her last Saturday nite.  Considering it was the last weekend of her twenties, I figured she would enjoy spending it the same way she did for most of the first half of her twenties, with Allen Ross!  Here us with Mr. Ross on Saturday.

So happy Thirtieth birthday to Cathie.  I’ll end with one of my favorite pics of us together, taken almost exactly ten years ago. 

I was almost 21 and she was still 19.  We were both so excited about starting that magical decade called the Twenties.  Looking back I’m happy to say that Cathie and I had one hell of a good time in our Twenties, and our Thirties show no signs of slowing down.  Cheers to Cathie!

Ciao,

The Captain

1  Despite having attended Saint Louis University and being a prould SLU-zer.

2.  Technically, Greenman fought the Philly “Frenetic” since it seemed that the show couldn’t land the rights to the real Phanatic.  Much like Eastbound and Down, it was quite obvious that the MLB wouldn’t let such a crass show use anything they have trademarked.

3.  The move is also canceling my chance to go to a World Series game!  My Uncle Dave bought season tickets for the Phillies this year, and I’m pretty sure that I could have talked him into letting me have one.  But flying to Philly for the weekend the day after we move is a terrible idea.  Oh well, I guess the Phillies are just gonna have to make it three in a row next year…

This past weekend someone stole our doormat.  While this wasn’t exactly the end of the world, it did piss me off something fierce.  With no real recourse, I decided to write a sternly worded letter and post it on our building’s list-server.  I thought I should repost it here for your reading pleasure.  So, all you fans of passive-aggressive bitching, enjoy!

To Whomever Stole The Doormat In Front Of 706 Last Nite,

Seriously? Why would someone steal our doormat?

Now granted, we've had to put up with a lot of crap living in this building before.  From surprise power outages, to the frequent blaring music from the nearby clubs, the hallways occasionally reeking of marijuana smoke, and the mailman with no sense of time or consistency.  None of it felt personal, not even when someone broke into my car to steal 3 quarters. 

But stealing my doormat, that feels personal.  It means that an outsider snuck into the building and went doormat shopping, or worse, someone in the building went doormat shopping at their leisure.  So either the building's security is lacking or the people living inside the building are lacking.  That sucks.  Big time.

We are moving out in less than three weeks, and I was determined to focus on the positives of this building during the moving process.  But this is going to make it very difficult for me to retain any sort of nostalgia for 2020.

So, to whomever stole the doormat in front of 706 last nite, you were the official last straw.

Burn!  Take that nameless ruffians!

Ciao,

The Captain

Meg and I had a pre-celebration for our anniversary on Saturday.  We decided to take advantage of living downtown while we can, so we took the train to Forest Park for a picnic on Art Hill.¹

It’s been a little over a month since I posted my first house pic blog .  In September our house went from just framing to an actual building.  With a little under a month left until our house is completed, it seems like a great time for a photo blog update.

Let’s Build A Home – Part Zwei

A good chunk of the month was dry wall.  They started putting up drywall before we left on our cruise, and they we still working on it when we returned.  The first round of drywall looked really plain and dirty.  Here’s the first round on the first floor.

And here’s an action shot of the drywall going up in the basement.

While the drywall was going up, all of the outside wall work was also being completed.  All of the siding and brick work was finished by the time we returned from Florida.

And the driveway and entrance steps were also poured while we were gone.¹

A couple of days after we were back, the drywall was finished.

Next up was laying the flooring.  Here’s the hardwood in the kitchen going down.

Around this time, we noticed our garage was suddenly filled wall to wall with boxes.

All of our cabinets, doors, counters, sinks and more² lived in our garage for a couple of weeks while they were slowly installed throughout our home. 

The cabinetry in the kitchen went up pretty quick, and the appliances followed in suit.

The stove and microwave are in but I am still waiting on my personal favorite, the dishwasher. 

And speaking of appliances, we already bought our refrigerator, washer and dryer.  We found a great deal over Labor Day weekend and snapped them up quick.  Unfortunately, we weren’t able to talk the store into waiting to deliver our three appliances, so they are currently hanging out in my mother’s garage.

This past week, the builders were busy installing trim on all the walls and fixtures all over.  The most exciting change was the electricians making their first appearance.  The lights went up in all the rooms!  Here’s the master bathroom taking shape.

Here’s the kitchen and dining room finally starting to look inhabitable.

And that’s where the house stands as of this weekend.  The really exciting stuff is due soon, with the plumbing and painting scheduled for this week.  Very soon our house will actually start to look like a home.  Only 23 more days!!!

Ciao,

The Captain

1  Which is a good thing, because I totally would have written something juvenile in the concrete like “Property of The Captain” if I was around while it was drying.

2  I am happy to report that most of these items were supplied by Huttig Building Products , a local company that where my Aunt Jackie has worked for a number of years.  I actually temped at Hutting for a month after graduating college when I couldn’t find a job and I’m glad we was able to spend our money somewhere that lent me a hand years ago.

Editor’s Note:  You may have noticed that the last two entries had post dates of September 17 & 18 even though they were not actually posted until over a week after these dates.  The Captain intended to post these entries while aboard the Disney Magic cruise ship, but promptly changed his mind when he discovered the internet usage fees of $7.99 a minute.

The Captain is back in the landlocked Midwest after an extremely busy month.  I’ve actually be back a little over a week, but I’ve been too busy with my job and a massive mound of laundry to update the Quarters.  Today being the first day of October seems like a great opportunity to sum up the rest of my September.

Megan and I came ashore on Saturday the 22^nd with about 60 hours left of our vacation.  We promptly returned to Orlando with her parents and rented a separate car for the weekend.

After a quick pit stop at one of the wonderful outlet malls in Orlando, we made our way to Tampa for a long lunch with my extended family living in Florida.  The whole Florida contingent of my father’s clan was in attendance, including my 82 year-old grandma and 87 year-old great aunt, both of whom are still full of life and complaints about their neighbors. 

I ended up hamming it up with my family for a couple of hours before Meg and I made our way down to Sarasota for the rest of the weekend.  It’s only been a couple of months since I was last in Sarasota, but it’s been over 1½ years since Megan last visited.  We were both super excited to return to our former home by the bay.

Our good friends Amir & Julie were kind enough to host us for the weekend

Which meant I was forced to inhale copious amounts of Wild Turkey and flavored tobacco.

The Baxendales were also on hand to share a drink or two

Which meant the return of my sunglasses that I left in Florida last trip and, more importantly, the return of Rob Face!

That Rob, he does not disappoint. 

On Sunday we had the perfect divide and conquer kind of day.  Meg and Jules hit the outlet malls for six hours while Amir and I watched six hours worth of football at Siesta Key.  It was win-win!¹

Amir grilled up an ungodly amount of seafood Sunday evening, which slowed me down to a crawl by the time the Cards-Cubs game was on ESPN.

On Monday morning we managed to find time for a beach stroll on Longboat Key before heading out of town.  Man do I already miss that beautiful, empty beach.

Even after ten days straight of staring at the ocean I still wasn’t tired of the view.  The waters of Sarasota are where I really learned to be a Captain and it will always hold a special place in my heart.  It was especially hard to say goodbye to the beach knowing that it will be a long time until I see one again.

After prying myself off the sand we managed to squeeze in a quick lunch with my grandma and crazy Uncle Gary before heading to Orlando to catch an evening flight home.

Returning to work was pretty rough after ten days off, but I jumped right back in and I managed to catch back up by the end of the month.  The busy season in my office is August through November, so it was really hard to leave right in the middle for such a long period.  This will probably be my last September vacation for quite a while.

Complicating my return home was the fact that I once again managed to somehow throw out my back  while on vacation.  I was hobbling pretty badly when I first returned home, but it has slowly been getting better since.²

Besides work, I was really busy with the massive buildup in both the laundry bin and the DVR.  Two big events occurred over this past weekend that need to be mentioned.  The first, obviously, is that the Cardinals were the first team to secure a trip to the playoffs.  Bust out the Champagne, it’s a celebration bitches!

Congrats to the Cardinals for a very hard fought and rewarding year.  I’m super stoked for the playoffs in October.  Anyone got an extra ticket?

The other big event from this past weekend was my younger brother Paul attending his first Homecoming dance!  Wow does that me feel old.  My first Homecoming was fifteen years ago!  At the time I remember feeling very grown up.  Let’s just say I feel a little different about it now.

On Saturday I was lucky enough to attend the mini press conference that was the pre Homecoming group pictures at the St. Peters Rec Plex, where I snapped this little gem.

I’m trying really hard not to embarrass my brother so I will simple say that he and his date looked good together and leave it at that.

On a final note, I found some time last nite to upload all of the cruise pictures to the Captains Quarters Flickr page.  And with that, my September is officially over.  Danke to everyone who made it one to remember.

Ciao,

The Captain

1.  Unless you count Amir and I’s hometown teams, the Rams and the Browns.  That would be Lose-Lose.  Actually, more like Epic Fail–Epic Fail…

2.  With a lot of help from Megan’s godfather, Sonny the Chiropractor.  I don’t care if Chiropracty is an art and not a science, it’s still wonderful to me.

After two full days at sea I awoke Tuesday morning to this wonderful sight. 

Land Ho!

Our Disney Cruise made two stops in the Virgin Islands and one stop in the Bahamas during our week at sea.  Our first port of call was Tortola on Tuesday. 

Tortola is the largest island in the British Virgin Islands¹.  I knew nothing about the island when I arrived, and I knew very little about it by the time I returned to the ship in the afternoon.  Of the seven hours I was off of the boat, I spent less than an hour of my time in Tortola.  The other six-plus hours were spent on this little beauty.

That my friends, is a fifty foot catamaran and the highlight of my trip.  Meg’s idea to book a six hour excursion on this wonderful boat is probably the best decision she has ever made².

I’ll admit, I was a bit skeptical at first.  After seeing the devastating effect that hiring a Caribbean tour boat can have on relationships in the documentary film Captain Ron, I was initially leery of the boat’s operator.  It would take a lot to impress a fellow Captain such as myself.   

In reality, I was consistently thrilled for the entire six hour tour.  We motored out of the dock and the sails were hoisted once we hit the open waters.  Sailing in the open crystal blue water of the Caribbean is damn near perfect in my book, and the view’s not bad either. 

The only thing that stopped the catamaran excursion from actually being perfect were the fifteen or so other guests from the cruise ship tagging along with us.  Several of them felt the need to loudly tell each other boring stories and indulge in inane chit chat³ instead of enjoying the ride.  One heavy-set, older gentleman actually read a book the whole time!  I wish everyone would have been content with simply staring at the natural beauty, but it was only a minor annoyance.

For the first couple of hours we sailed around the outer islands and hit a couple of great snorkeling spots.  The second spot was near a bunch of ocean caves and made for the best snorkeling I’ve ever done.

I saw a huge fish attack a sea urchin and actually kill the spiky bastard.  So friggin’ cool!  After the snorkeling we headed to a private island for some lunch.  This being my first vacation with my new camera, I was actually able to shoot some video.  Here’s our initial approach.

This little island was home to a beach club that was closed down for the season.  On the plus side, it was gorgeous and completely empty.  It looked like a Corona commercial.

On the negative side, the bar was closed for the season.  So there I was in a Corona commercial on an island with no beer.  What a waste!  Luckily, I soon discovered that the boat’s first mate had a hidden stash of rum…

After six hours of living the Captain’s dream, I was sun burnt and exhausted but still not ready to return.  We reluctantly returned to the cruise ship and both took a long shower and an ever longer nap.  All in all, it was definitely the highlight of the trip, and it’s in the running for the highlight of my year.

After such an amazing Tuesday in Tortola, Wednesday was bound to be a bit of a letdown.  We spent the day on the island of St. Thomas in the American portion of the Virgin Islands.  Still exhausted from the previous day, we elected to wander around the port town and do some shopping.  I loaded up on lots of cheap souvenirs and duty-free alcohol to bring home as gifts. Duty-free is the way to be!

And as an added bonus, the shops were stocked full of cheap beer.  The first shop I hit actually had individual bottles of Carlsberg for $1.50.  Jackpot!

Besides the shopping, there wasn’t much to do besides wander around.  There was still plenty to see, including the filthiest ice cream truck ever!

After two days on shore, Thursday was back out to sea all day headed for the Bahamas.  This morning our ship docked on Castaway Cay.  Not familiar with this island?  That’s because it’s not an island anymore, it’s the property of Disney.  Mickey Mouse and Co bought an island previously used for drug smuggling and turned it into a sanitized, family fun port of call. 

I was a little cynical before we arrived.  In person Castaway Cay ends up coming off as beautifully clichéd.  It looks like a four-year-old’s drawing of a beach, which I think is what they had in mind.

We initially decided to make the long hike down to the adults only beach⁴ but turned around when we saw that it was already packed full.  We settled in on the far side of the kids’ beach and spent the day doing typical beach activities.  I read a book, drank a Corona, took a nap in a hammock and just generally enjoyed the view.

While Castaway Cay would not be my first choice as a destination, it’s really hard to complain about a tropical island with free food.  So cheers to the Disney Island.

Which brings me the evening, sitting with my lovely wife in our stateroom for one more nite. 

Tomorrow our cruise will come to an end when our ship returns back to Port Canaveral.  We’ve had a magnificent week and I’ve been thrilled to be on the ocean for so long.  In short, it’s been the ideal vacation for the Captain.  So thanks again to our benefactors.  This champagne’s for you!  Cheers!

Ciao,

The Captain

1  Our tour guide constantly referred to the islands as “Da-Bee-Vee-Aye.”  It took me about an hour to realize he was saying “The B.V.I.”

2.  Well, besides marrying this guy, of course.

3.  The teenage girl on the boat with us would NOT SHUT UP.  It was annoying, except when would bring up the Bob Marley t-shirt.  Apparently we drove by a street vendor selling Marley t-shirts on the way to the boat and this girl was determined to get one on the way back.  She kept begging her parents to buy this Bob Marley t-shirt like it was ultra-super-rare, when in reality they sell Bob Marley shirts at most Hot Topics, Hemp shops, Spencer’s Gifts, Head shops and Mall kiosks.

4.  I know “Adults Only Beach” sound like a porn title, but trust me when that there was nothing remotely sexy about it.